man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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