I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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