Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
