I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
