I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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