I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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