Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
