I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
