You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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