I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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