I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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