then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
