Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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