there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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