i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
4 words: hood of his car
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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