i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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