Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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