you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
