and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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