so explain again why im purple
no
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
