He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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