shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I understand Curling. That high.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
