your thong is hanging out like whoa
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
