Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
