this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
