I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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