Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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