I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My liver just had a heart attack.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
