dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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