I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
