I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize