So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
