I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
