If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
