So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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