so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
