ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
