You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
