I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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