we're blogging at a bar
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
