I have demons in me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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