There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
