ugly people sure do ruin things
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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