I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
