Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
