Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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