4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
