guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
