We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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