I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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