Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
